Never Gonna Work
by DishonorOnYourCow
Summary: Edmund's time in Narnia had ended. But now he's been brought back. At the same time a girl who is better at annoying him than anyone he's ever met appears. She's glad he feels that way because she doesn't and he's engaged. Can they defeat the Witch? Ed/OC


**AN: This is based off of watching movies only. I do not own the characters except for ones that I created, you know who they are. I also own the plot. Please review :)  
>Summary: Even though Edmund's time in Narnia was supposed to be over he's been dragged back. Laurel also got pulled into Narnia, and she's an expert at getting under the High King's skin. But she can't help but feel drawn to him a feeling she ignores because he's engaged. Still, can they get along for long enough to save Narnia from the White Witch's return and tyranny?<strong>

Chapter One:

*Laurel PoV*

I wandered carefully through the woods. The smell of moss and dirt were clogging my nose as I weaved through the trees. I was meeting my friend, Marie, back here so that we could help her little brother build a tree house. It was our punishment for sneaking out the previous weekend to go to a party. As I was walking my cell phone vibrated in my pocket. Pulling it out I flipped it open. I felt a sharp pain for a split second as I ran into a tree that I hadn't seen. My eyes flew shut, and when I opened them again fear took me over.

I wasn't in the same woods I'd been in. The trees were all laced with ice and the trees' leaves still hung there but they were encased in ice making them a pale green that looked eerie. Walking through the trees I hurried to a small path that had worn through the ice encrusted plants. I couldn't figure out how all the plants lived with the cold.

After walking a short ways it became clear to me that I was not dressed for this weather, my shorts and tank top, while cute, were completely impractical for the snow, but just a moment ago I was in the dead of summer where it was borderline 100 degrees. Letting my long, blonde hair out of its ponytail in hope that it would warm my neck I continued walking.

I froze as the sound of the ice cracking under feet echoed around me. "Who goes there?" a voice demanded from behind me making me jump. I turned slowly on the spot and was met with the sight of a minotaur.

I stifled a scream and quickly introduced myself in hope that it would answer some questions or verify that I was asleep at least, "I'm Laurel Vail. I don't know where I am? What is this place? You're not supposed to be real. You're just a made up creature in old myths and stories."

"A Daughter of Eve," he grumbled. "Come with me."

I didn't know what a Daughter of Eve was, but he didn't seem to be angry at me, so I followed shaking as the freezing air assaulted me. "Why don't the flowers die?" I asked as we passed a patch of lilacs entombed in ice.

The minotaur sighed, "The White Witch placed a curse on them and all the land. She brought back the ice when a dwarf resurrected her, but she left all the roses entombed, so we could be what we had lost. What we deserved to lose for destroying her so long ago."

"Why don't you fight back?" I asked. "You look plenty strong."

He smiled at me, or at least I think that's what he was doing. "I'm afraid it's not that easy. She has dark magic. The dwarfs, or most of them, have returned to her side. Some others have as well. Many of the Telmarines have also switched sides, but most are choosing to not get involved."

"Oh," I muttered. "What happened to her to make her so mad."

"Let's wait 'till we get to King Caspian and maybe some one more knowledgeable can explain," he told me while pushing a branch of a large pine tree back to reveal a camp filled with tents and people milling about in the distance.

I followed him looking around at everything and trying to take it all in. The tents were crimson and gold with lions embroidered into the fabric. All around the campsite there were people and creatures milling about. Many of them were holding weapons and there were small gatherings of people practicing sword-fighting and archery. I smiled thinking of the time me and my friend had tried to teach ourselves fencing, but with light sabers. We didn't succeed, but we broke a lamp.

He led me into one of the larger tents at the end of the row, and I was happy to be inside both because it was quite warm and it would stop the odd looks that the people in the camp had been directing toward me. "Your Majesty, I found a girl in the woods. I believe she's like the High Kings and Queens," the minotaur grumbled to a man standing in the corner of the tent looking at a map that was spread out.

"Thank you, Bartholomew," the man greeted without turning. I coughed to cover my laugh at the Minotaur's name which got the King's attention enough that he turned.

His eyes widened as he looked at me. "Aren't you cold?" he asked, and I could tell he was just politely asking 'What the hell are you wearing?'

I nodded, "Yeah, so what is the deal with this place?" I asked as he handed me a large plush coat that reached the ground. "Who is this Witch?"

"She's the plague that's killing Narnia," he answered bitterly. "Narnia is this entire land. Everywhere from the farthest isles to the highest mountains is Narnia. I am the King of the Telmarines, the Kings and Queens of Old are the rulers of Narnia, but they are from another world and I rule in their absence. Aslan, he is the protector, has told them that their time in Narnia has been completed."

I frowned, "If Aslan is the protector, why hasn't he done anything about her?"

The King smiled at me, "He works in mysterious ways. He can't solve our problems for us, only assist at the end."

"Do you know how I got here?" I asked him bringing the coat closer around me wishing that it could have been winter in my own world when I got sent here. There was no doubt in my mind this was real, the cold I felt could not be artificial.

He sighed, "I'm not sure. I assume you are from the Edmund and Lucy's world, but you don't dress or talk like them."

I shrugged, "There are many different accents in my world. There are probably a hundred different dialogues around the globe. As for the clothes, maybe they're from another time period. You're Majesty, you never really explained the Witch to me."

"Come and sit," he beckoned. "When the Kings and Queens of Old first got here, now be warned that this is all a story to me, it happened hundreds of years ago."

"Wait," I cut him off, "You never met them?"

He laughed, "No, I knew them all well. They are like a family to me. I never really had one of my own, but we won't dwell on that story. Lucy came by herself the first time and met a faun-"

"Pardon my ignorance, but what is a faun?" I asked him.

He smiled, "It is half man half goat. At the time there was a prophecy that stated four children, two Sons of Adam and two Daughters of Eve, would come and defeat the White Witch. So, anyone who saw one in the woods was supposed to turn them into her, so she could stop the prophecy. He didn't and helped her escape. She came back later and this time her brother, Edmund, followed her. He ran into the Witch, and she tricked him into thinking she was on his side. He didn't realize what he was doing, and when they came in the next time Edmund left the family to go join the Witch. They got him back in the end, and he fought on the Narnians side in the war. She was killed in battle when Aslan attacked her after she stabbed Edmund. There's a lot more to that story, but you have the jist."

I frowned, "But how did she come back and why is so angry? Well, I mean she was dead, but still."

"During the original war, the dwarfs fought on her side. Some have grown up to still harbor loyalties, and they brought her back with dark magic," the King explained.

I nodded, "That sucks. Wait, so what are you gonna do with me?"

He frowned in thought, "You'll have to stay. I'll get someone to fetch you new clothing. Those will not be comfortable here."

!#$%$#!#$%^&*()(*&^

*Edmund Pov*

I walked into the living room where Lucy was sitting on the couch talking to Marie while smiling. I went over and sat down next to Marie with a smile on my face. "Hello, love," I greeted taking her hand and making a face at Lucy when she cooed. "Are you excited for tomorrow?" I asked.

"Well," she started a grin playing on her lips, "I don't know, my fiancé isn't very handsome."

My eyebrows raised, "Is that so?"

She laughed and nodded, "Edmund, sweetie, could you go get me a drink?" she asked.

"Of course," I told her, "one moment." Walking into the kitchen I started to get her drink when suddenly snow began to fall. Looking at the ceiling piece of snow landed on my face, when I looked down I was in the middle of a forest that was completely encased in ice.

I heard a murmur of voices and decided to follow them. When I got out of the woods I saw a camp filled with soldiers and weapons. There was another war happening, I realized my stomach clenching as I looked around. Walking to through the tents I stopped at the large one at the end of the row that had to belong to the current king. How much time had passed? Was Caspian still alive?

"Excuse me," I called as I entered. I smiled as I saw Caspian turn to me. "Caspian," I greeted with a smile in my voice.

He put down what was in his hands and pulled me into a hug. "Edmund, what are you doing here?" he asked.

I shrugged, "I'm not really sure, but Lucy is going to be devastated when she hears I came without her."

"I wouldn't want to witness that conversation," he said with a laugh. "You're our second guest today." He said gesturing to a girl that I hadn't noticed before. "This is Laurel; she's from your world as well."

I turned to the girl who smiled at me, "Hi, why are you dressed like you're from the 50s?" she asked with a giggle that made me frown and want to roll my eyes at her.

"Because it's 1952," I answered confused.

She frowned, "Really, holy shit."

I raised my eyebrows at her language. "I beg your pardon?"

"I just meant, oh my god, 'cause I'm from 2011 and 1952 is forever ago and y'all live in a freaking dark age compared to us," she explained looking flustered. "I mean you don't have cells, computers, good television, 3D movies, fuck, you don't even have Facebook."

I stared at her for a moment before responding, "What?"

She laughed, "Sorry, I tend to ramble. I just meant that I was shocked by the time gap between us, and how many things had changed since."

"Oh," I said while giving her a look. "What's going on here," I asked taking my attention off of her and directing it back to Caspian who was observing her with an amused expression in the corner.

Caspian frowned, "I'm sorry, Edmund. Some rogue dwarfs they brought her back, and she's returned Narnia to the terror it once lived in."

I felt as if I'd been socked in the stomach, "What? How could they do that? Narnia was finally at peace." Caspian had no need to further explain who he was referring to. The White Witch was back, and it was a reminder of what I'd done and what I'd almost destroyed.

"They wanted the dwarfs to have more power, and they thought that she was the way to get it," he explained, "Not all of them joined, most of them haven't, but she has powers this time that don't compare to before. That's why we haven't been able to vanquish her."

The girl in the corner took this moment to speak up, "Why don't you send a dwarf in and have them be a double agent? Or would that be-" she broke off as the sound of strange music filled the room. Pulling a strange plastic device from her pocket she flipped it open and stared at it for a second. "You have amazing reception for an alternate dimension." She commented.

"What was that?" I asked.

She gave me a look. "Lady Gaga," she responded before pausing. "Oh, you meant my phone. It's a cell phone you use it to call other people and stuff, but none of my texts are going through so I guess that was sent before I got here and just took a while to load."

From the corner Caspian asked, "What's a Lady Gaga?"

For some reason the girl found this extremely amusing. She responded while laughing, "That is a question that many people want the answer to."

"Can we get back to the problem at hand?" I asked but I was cut off as a young centaur girl entered the tent with some clothes in hand.

"Your Highnesses, I brought clothes. I have some for the lady, and I saw High King Edmund enter so I thought he might like some as well," she explained handing them to each of us in turn.

The girl stood up and smiled. "Thank you," she smiled warmly. "Here, I'll leave this coat here, because it's long and I don't want to trip and ruin it. Which trust me will happen." She carefully took the coat she was wearing off and laid it on the chair.

"What are you wearing?" I asked in shock at her outfit. She was wearing a pair of bright red shorts that ended before her fingers began. Her shirt was a white shirt with thin straps and it was much lower than any girl I'd even seen wear; it had a sketch of little girl holding a black umbrella and wearing a red dress on it. It was only then that I took in her face she was wearing large red earrings , and had black lines drawn around her eyes.

She gave me an offended look, "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

"It's just well, it's very little clothing," I told her trying to word it the best I could without setting her off.

"Are you saying I look like a whore?" she asked her voice reaching an octave that was new to me.

I shook my head, "No, of course, not," I trailed off and turned to Caspian in hope that he'd smooth this out.

He just laughed, "Edmund, I see you're still an amazing ladies man."

"I'll have you know I'm engaged," I told him with a grin.

"Congratulations, what's she like?"

"She's absolutely amazing," I told him. "We met about a week after I went to America. She's completely beautiful, and has a great personality. Her name's Marie."

At that the girl made a horrified face, "Oh god, Marie. I was supposed to met my friend Marie in the woods, she's going to think I got abducted or something. My mom is gonna slaughter me; I'm supposed to be grounded. I was just supposed to go help Marie's brother build a tree house then come straight home. FML."

"It can't be that bad," I told her taking in the still horrified look on her face. "What did you do?"

She sighed, "I snuck out to go to a party, and then I got arrested at said party for under-aged drinking and assault. It wasn't my fault though!"

I gave her a look, "How on Earth could that be not your fault?"

"Well," she started flushing, "I had this boyfriend, Stephen. He was sort of a dick, but he was also really sweet at times. Well, there were rumors he was fucking other girls at parties. So, Marie and I went to one to try and catch him in the act, but while we were waiting I might have downed a shot or two. Anyways, I went upstairs and found him sleeping with two of my really drunk friends. I did what any angry girlfriend would do, I punched the bitches in the face. Then, the dumbass, tried to follow me and I shoved him… Down a flight of stairs."

My mouth fell open, "You pushed him down a flight of stairs?"

"He cheated on me with _two _of my _friends! _He wasn't even drunk!" she explained her volume rising.

I frowned, "Still down a flight of stairs?"

She gave me an evil look, "I didn't mean to break his leg."

"You broke his _leg?_" I asked her even more surprised.

"We dated for over a year, and he promised me he'd be faithful. It pissed me off and I was really drunk," she explained.

Caspian laughed, and I decided to let the subject drop as she left the tent to go get changed all the while muttering to herself.

"So, what are we going to do about her?" Caspian asked me as she left.

I shrugged, "I say we just hand her over to the Witch, maybe she could annoy her to death."

He smiled at me, "You only talked to her for a moment."

"You mean you didn't get the feeling she was going to be somewhat annoying?" I asked him. "I don't mean it as an insult; I'm just saying we will not get along I can tell."

Caspian smirked at me, "You have to admit you can be a little grumpy."

"She pushed a guy down a flight of stairs and punched two girls in the face. Plus, you have to agree with me on the clothes thing." I told him.

He nodded, "You can't deny that it was at least somewhat bareable seeing her dressed like that."

"I'm engaged," I told him with a pointed look, but he just smiled.


End file.
